The Process of Healing
When on this healing journey sometimes we think we are experiencing setbacks when really what we are experiencing is life. We are experiencing what the real healing process looks like. Deep wounds will not heal quickly. Deep wounds will not heal overnight. There is no magic wand or magic phrase to speed up the process. Healing is as unique as the individual. Since I am a unique individual, my healing is unique. It is not the bad days or the frequency of them that should solely determine where you are in your healing but it is how you cope and care for yourself. When these times do come do you revert back to your old methods of coping? For me, that would be ignoring the fact that I am not at my best and forcing myself to push through. It would be continuing to put on a mask and not stop to admit that I am struggling. It would be gaslighting myself by telling myself that I am too sensitive, that I need to woman-up, that I am being ridiculous. Or do you try new methods you have worked so hard to build? For me, it is taking the time to acknowledge and examine my feelings. It is giving myself grace. It is giving myself permission to do the bare minimum. It is admitting that I am struggling. It is speaking kind words to myself such as who I am in this world is enough. I am learning how to acknowledge and honor my healing even on my rough days. I am not where I want to be and I still have a ways to go but I am learning how to take care of and love all of me, my inner little girl and the adult me. That shows healing in itself. That is progress. That is a win worth celebrating.
Sometimes, I can view situations from an all-or-nothing perspective. I struggle with the in-between so I often miss the journey by focusing on the end result. I miss celebrating the small wins because I am working so hard for the completion. That also means I have missed quite a few opportunities to party and have fun. I am learning that the beauty that is in the hard work of healing is found mostly in the small moments. It is mostly when I am faced with a down day and I recognize that I did not react the way I used to. The beauty is found when I recognize in me the growth. When I recognize and celebrate how far I have come.
